So God Made a Democrat

I need someone who will steal morning, noon and night So God Made a Democrat

God looked down on Washington D.C. and said “I need someone who will steal morning, noon and night. Who will steal from the rich to give to the poor and steal from the poor to give to the rich and fool them all and keep all the loot.” So God made a Democrat.

God said, “I need college man to come to a farm and tell the farmer that he can’t feed his hogs with lettuce from his own farm or use the manure from his pigs to grow his lettuce. I need an inspector who will tell him how much he can sell his milk for and warn him that his son riding on the tractor constitutes child labor. I need someone to pay a farmer not to farm so that poor people can’t afford bread.” So God made a Democrat.

“I want a union organizer who hires non-union picketers to keep workers from working, a politician who fights for the people by taking money from billionaires and a clergyman who worships whoever runs on the party line. I want a banker who fights for the poor and gives to the party and a party that pays the poor man eight times to vote for the banker’s man.” So God made a Democrat.

“I need someone to retire at 55 with generous benefits from a government job. I need lawmakers who will pass laws without reading them. I need teachers who refuse to teach kids unless they’re paid twice as much as any worker in their city. I need people to sit on commissions and make rules about lines of work that they’ve never been in.” So God made a Democrat

“I need a Catholic who’s for abortion. A Jew who’s for Palestine. A Mormon who’s against the Church. A Baptist who’s for evolution. A Methodist who doesn’t believe in god. And a Muslim who believes in destroying America.” So God made a Democrat.

He said, “I need someone who starts all the wars and protests against all the wars. Who is first in line to sign up to fight against his country but comes out as a pacifist when it’s time to defend it. I want war heroes who throw their medals over fences and then gather them up again when it’s time to run for office. I want men who are for everything before they’re against it” So God made a Democrat.

“I need a working class man who who has never worked a day in his life, but always talks about caring for those who do. I need a man who talks all the time about helping women, blacks, lesbians, Eskimos and Martians get ahead and then drops them like a dirty rag when he has what he wants. A man who gets up at 11:30 in the afternoon to help the less fortunate by passing laws that will make them even less fortunate. A man who takes nine tenths of what’s meant for the poor and lets them have the leftovers.” So God made a Democrat.

“I need a man who believes in himself too much to take responsibility for anything he did. I need a man who is tolerantly intolerant, who is outraged all day by everything in the world except his own outrageous behavior. I need a man who is for freedom of speech except when he’s offended, for freedom of religion except when he disagrees with it and for the right to bear arms but only for those weapons that existed in 1791.” So God made a Democrat.

God said, “I need a party of jackasses that will always break through the fence and spoil everything that the farmer grows. I need bad men to test good men and liars, cheats and thieves with clipboards to teach neighbors to stick together against them. I need a man with no more conscience than a rattlesnake leading a band of fools with less sense than sheep. And I need him to keep the farmers and ranchers, the workers and doers on their toes so they always remember that evil never rests and keeping it down can sometimes be the hardest work of all.” So God made a Democrat.