That Charming Old Coot Bernie Sanders

That Charming Old Coot Bernie Sanders

Viva la Revolucion!

Are you feelin’ the Bern yet? Nothing this exciting has happened since Howard Dean’s psychopathic “Yaaaahhhh!” scream after he came in third in the Iowa caucuses in 2004. It was a war cry that must have made Elizabeth Warren’s Cherokee blood pressure go through the roof. As Chris Plante would say, it’s good to be a Democrat.

While The Donald has establishment Republicans pulling their hair out and on the verge of tears watching their decades-long stranglehold on power becoming more threatened by the day, there’s another sociological game being played on the Dirty Dems’ side of things. Yep, it’s the Bern himself. It seems like everyone is feelin’ the Bern these days.

What an irresistibly charming old coot Bernie Sanders is — kind of like Marx, Lenin, and Stalin, sweethearts all. In fact, Bernie bears an eerie resemblance to Saul Alinsky himself. And while we chuckle at all this, knowing that Bernie has Hillary the Horrible throwing shoes at Bubba and cursing him for his sexual misadventures over the years, the radical left is licking its chops.

Why? Because to radical lefties, Bernie represents more than just a cute sideshow to Hillary’s inevitable exit from the race. They see liberalism/progressivism/socialism/communism as serious business. The vast majority of them, in fact, have made it a lifetime commitment.

While it’s true that radical-left thinking is a serious mental disorder, it’s also true that it’s a threat to those who don’t suffer from this malady, because the crazies are targeting them and their possessions. When Bernie talks revolution, he’s not just some loony uncle who believes in fairy tales. Best we take him seriously, because heis serious. He’s no different than all the other lefties who have been preaching revolution for the masses for at least 150 years.

The reason left-wing revolutionary talk never stops is because it’s extremely difficult to implement tyrannical policies through the ballot box. Thus, to those on the radical left, violent revolution is not just an option, it’s a necessity. They realize people don’t give up their freedom easily, so they see force as the only way to save people from themselves.

Thus, at a time when a majority of Americans want to move away from government control, government regulations, and government theft, ignoramuses on our college campuses, both students (who have no experience with real life) and professors (whose intellect has not developed beyond childhood) are singing the praises of free … Free … FREE. Not free in the traditional sense, but free in the sense of free stuff.

Human nature (read, self-interest), economic reality, and morality are irrelevant to Marxist revolutionaries, and right now they’re feelin’ the Bern. Kind of like that young lady back in 2008 who shouted on television that she was going to get free gas and a suspension of her mortgage payments once Barack Obama took office. Man, was she ever excited. I tell you, she was feelin’ the Bern even then. Hmm … I wonder how she’s enjoying the Obamaconomy today.

Seriously, here’s the problem: While Bernie is a sincere, idealistic old fool, he is not the harmless kook he’s portrayed to be. On the contrary, he gives hope to millions of Americans who have long dreamed of a Bolshevik-style uprising in the U.S. Trust me, these people would love nothing more than to see blood running in the streets. Odd as it may seem to the mind of a pragmatic capitalist, envy loves blood more than it loves free stuff.

While the anti-establishment revolution on the Republican side of the Demopublican Party is getting most of the attention right now, don’t kid yourself. The envy-based anger on the left is just as strong as the liberty-based anger of those who are fighting to bring down the Republican establishment. And, unfortunately, time is on the side of the radical leftists, so long as a Trump, Cruz, or Carson type doesn’t get hold of the reins of power and totally crush the tyrannical idea of “income equality.”

And, by the way, while we’re talking about it, here’s one of the best-kept secrets of our Orwellian world: Trickle-down economics is the key to a healthy economy and a better life for all those who are willing to work hard! Do you think maybe a few dollars have trickled down from the successes of Bill Gates, Steve Jobs, and Jeff Bezos, to name but a few?

Only an idiot would be unable to see the obvious, and, unfortunately, America does not have a shortage of idiots. Will some Republican ever have the guts to stand up and say, loudly and clearly, that trickle-down economics works?

The way things have been going for decades, it’s just matter of time until the Demopublicans bring in enough illegals to flood the welfare system — and the voting booths. And once that happens, tyranny will be permanently entrenched in the land of the enslaved and the home of the freeloaders.

Of course, Uncle Bernie is unlikely to win out over Joe Biden or whomever else the Dirty Dems end up running against him, but it matters not. Whoever that other person is, he will keep pressing the gas pedal to the floor in an effort to get as far past that magical tyranny-of-the-majority 51 percent mark as possible. It’s all working out just as Ted Kennedy planned it. He must be smiling from his resting place in Hell.

Give the Marxmeister in the White House credit for damn near taking the ball across the goal line — and lest you get overconfident, let me assure you that he might still make it. As RoboMarco said eighty-seven times in three minutes, the man knows exactly what he’s doing.

I say, viva la revolucion! The question is, which of the two revolutions will prevail? An awful lot of angry people are feelin’ the Bern, but an awful lot of angry people are also feelin’ the Trump. It certainly is fun to watch, but where is George Washington when you need him most?